6 guiding ideas on how to navigate life transitions

The start of a new year can be a time of reflection. It can be a time of relief. It can be a time of anxiety as we head into the unknown and uncertain and unpredictable future. It can be a time of excitement and anticipation as we think about things we’ve already planned or envisioned for the next twelve months. It can feel like a time when we shed the old and put on the new. Very often, for me anyways, this time of year brings up a myriad of feelings and emotions.

I consider the month of January a time of transition.

And this year I’m going through an exciting transition. I’ve left my corporate job and am focusing 100% on my coaching business. It was a scary decision that really tested my self-worth, my trust muscle, and my confidence, but now that I’m here I am so excited, and so looking forward to what 2023 will bring.

(One of the exciting things is that my calendar has opened up immensely to take on new one-on-one clients – and I’m offering a special new year’s price plus two bonus sessions if you sign up before January 31.)

Are you going through a period of transition right now? Is there something you’d like to transition to over the coming weeks and months? What are you hoping for your own life as we head into the new year?

Transition is the gradual, intentional, thoughtful and malleable change from one state of being to another.

What is transition? What does it mean? I like the word transition. To me, it implies a gradual, intentional, thoughtful, and malleable change from one state of being, to another. From a current thought to a new mindset. From a current belief to a new belief. From a current habit to a new habit. From one way of doing things to new processes. From our current situation to a new situation.

Transition implies gradual. It requires time. Time to think. Time to reflect on what we want and the direction we want to go. Time to think about what we want to transition to. The actual transition, the actual change, the actual transformation – takes time. Usually longer than we plan for or want to admit.

I do what I do in my coaching business because I believe that everyone has the power to change. Everyone can decide to change. However, what I’m suggesting is that we start thinking about ‘change’, more as ‘transition’. A transition from one way of being, to a different way of being. What I believe in is transformation. Transforming current thoughts, beliefs, habits, processes, and ways of being into different, aligned, intentional, aspirational, values-based, and thoughtful. habits, beliefs, and ways of being.

The magic of the word transition is that it supports the process of change. Transition, as I’ve stated earlier is a gradual, intentional, meandering, and unpredictable process. A true change is actually a transition. It’s solid, aligned with what’s most important to you, is rooted in what you really desire, it feels good, gives you peace, is guided by your inner wisdom, it uplevels you, and it allows you to make a lasting impact on yourself and those around you.

The other beautiful thing about transitions is that when we embark on a transition, we don’t necessarily know where we’re going to end up. Again, this is part of the process. We may have an idea of where we think we want to go. But transitions don’t come with roadmaps. They don’t come with a 5-step process. They don’t come with an instruction manual. All that is known when we start on the transition journey is that we have a desire – a desire to move from where we are now, to a different place, a direction –a general direction of where we want to go, and a knowing that we can’t stay where we are – a knowing within us that if we don’t change, then we’ll just stay stuck in a state that doesn’t serve us, that doesn’t allow us to grow, that stalls learning, and stifles our contribution to the world.

While there’s no instruction manual on how to transition, I have developed some guiding ideas, based on my own personal experience, and of those of my clients.

1. The first, and maybe obvious one is that transitions require patience. They take time. They’re a process. And you don’t know how long the process will take. Patience and perseverance are required.

How do you build up patience and perseverance? You practice. I know this is hard because I tend to be impatient, and I’ve had to learn the lesson of patience many times over in my life and I’m pretty sure the Universe is not done teaching me this lesson yet!

2. Transitions are hard. They’re work. They require deep inner work which is the hardest work there is. It’s also the most rewarding and the most necessary work you’ll ever do and continue to do, for your entire time on this planet. On the journey of transition you’ll never know what you’ll encounter. But there will be darkness and your own shadows to face. There will be emotions that come up that you will need to feel and process. There will be times of questioning and doubt. There will be times of frustration and disappointment and even anger.

The way to alleviate the challenging times is to keep focused on your why. Why are you wanting to change? Who do you aspire to become? Where do you see yourself? What is your vision? What life are you creating for yourself and your family? Who do you want to be? Focus on being that person. Focus on doing the things that bring you satisfaction and peace. Focus on being curious and trying new things. Remember to be grateful. Journal on your feelings. Ask yourself every day “what did I learn today?”.

3. Remind yourself that to create a lasting transformation, a transition must happen and that it must be experienced. You can’t just think about it. You can’t just journal on what you want or stare at your vision board everyday, or write down your goals. Transitions require action. Remember, transitions are a process. Process is a verb; an action word. In fact, a process is a series of action steps taken to reach a desired end. Take inspired action, each and every day. These don’t need to be huge action steps. Remember, small steps, taken consistently, will lead to huge transformation. 

4. Taking small steps doesn’t mean you can’t write out big goals. People who write down their goals are more likely to achieve them than those who just think about their goals. So write down your goals. Write down your why. Write down and say your affirmations. Create a vision board. Do something every day that will support and nurture your transition.

5. Be careful about the stories you tell yourself. During those times of doubt and insecurity when you feel like the transition journey has stalled, that’s when we hear our thoughts and stories and old beliefs more loudly. You don’t need to be believe every thought that pops into your head. Most of them are negative. Most of them are untrue. Give yourself permission to question your thoughts. “Is this thought true?”. “Do I believe this thought?”. 

Intentional breathing calms down those negative thoughts. Breathing calms the central nervous system and bring you into the present moment. Being intentional with your breathing will draw in cleansing oxygen into your body. This doesn’t need to take long. Something that works for me is putting my hands over my heart, closing my eyes and taking three deep breaths.

6. Transitions are rarely graceful. However, they provide us with many opportunities to learn how to have grace for ourselves. As I’ve said, transitions are hard, they take time, they bring up doubt and insecurity, they challenge us to face our deepest fears and our darkest shadows. They’re deep work and there’s no roadmap which requires resourcefulness. And a lot of self-love. And a lot of compassion and kindness towards ourselves. And an openness to adapting. This is called grace. Giving yourself grace during a transition is the best gift you can give yourself. 

Part of giving yourself grace is acknowledging and embracing yourself exactly as you are, right this second. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. There is nothing wrong with you. You are imperfectly perfect, as Brene Brown says.

To close, here are a few journaling prompts as you contemplate this fresh new year:

• What do you want to transition to?

• How can you take the first step on your transition journey?

• Where would you like to be a year from now?

• What new thoughts would you like to think?

• What new beliefs would you like to believe?

• What new stories would you like to be writing for yourself?

• How would this transition change your life?

Remember, you CAN change your life. You DESERVE to change your life. You’re allowed to transition in whatever way feels best for you. Embrace the transition. Greet the new year with open arms, with an open heart, with a clear mind, and with grace. I believe in you.

I’m also here to support and help you and right now I have two ways to help you as you transition into 2023:

Spring Retreat: I’m teaming up once again with my dear friend Karen to host a retreat – a day to recreate, refresh and recharge. There’ll be yoga, mind/body workshops, fireside journaling, connection with other amazing people, and delicious and healthy food. The retreat will be on Saturday, March 11 from 9am to 4pm in beautiful Redwood Meadows. Register today and have something awesome to look forward to in your calendar.

One-on-one coaching: If you’re longing to transition into the next version of yourself but feel stuck, lost or don’t know where to start, I can help you get unstuck, develop a roadmap for where you want to go, and step into confidence, fulfillment and living a genuine and impactful life. January is an ideal time to start coaching. Book a call with me today and let’s get started on your transition. (*Book by January 31, 2023 and receive special new year’s pricing plus two bonus sessions)

I wish you a 2023 that fills your heart with love, your mind with peace, and your soul with gratitude and joy. 

Vera
xx